Secret Defects - Chapter 1

posted by: Chiedza Sakupwanya

Hi. My name is Chiedza Sakupwanya and I am the new online editor for Young Hackney. In this blog I will be will be telling a story called 'Secret Defects'... check back each week to read the next chapter... I hope you enjoy it!

The beauty of life seems long gone as though time has drained away all exuberance and colour. Everything seems dull but yet extremely normal. People were walking zombies, dazed. Others seemed distant while others were on their flash mobile phones. I wondered who felt the way I did. My mind could not help but drift to think who could be experiencing the exact emotion I felt at this very moment.

How was I feeling? Ironically, I couldn’t feel anything except the cold that devoured my flesh and the tear drops that froze on my cold cheeks as soon as they descended. I was numb. No happiness, no grief, no thirst, no hunger- Even though I hadn’t been looking after myself very well lately. My family had tried but I was pushed away every time they tried pulling me out of my pit. I did not deliberately reject their affection but what I was going through was a lone emotion; something only I could understand the depth of. Only I could experience and live through the pain.

I was walking through burning flames and I could survive this anguish. The daggers and the spears.  The pain was alive. It dominated my thoughts and acts. A dominant master. It would coil itself around me giving me not only heartache, but even physical agony. I always knew it would end up this way, I knew from the start- the end was advancing but I never knew hell could live with me and dine with me. Yes, grief is hell- losing a loved one is a greater realm of hell.

I had known her for a long time, since before I can remember.  We were close after realising we had similar ways of thinking and going about things. She always had a certain sparkle in her eyes that made the world just that bit warmer. Her smile wasn’t blinding but simply impeccable and was the reason the world begged to wine and dine her. The hair on her head was luscious, absolutely beautiful; the kind that is temptation to the hand. She was a true ebony goddess. Apart from all the blocks that built her beauty, her movement was neither exaggerated nor dull. She was the perfect mix of playful and flirtatious.

Although she pleased the human eye it is common knowledge that all human beings have defects. Defects only we know of, and secret alter egos we conceal from close ones with the angelic intention to protect them.  Cara was only human and had her secret world that she hid from most, but not from me and that is how deeply rooted our bond was.

to be continued...